I want to note clearly that these are my personal experiences. Everyone experiences travel and living abroad differently, and I don't experience things as everyone else would in my situation. It is important to note some of these come from my gender (female) and appearance (very white, very blonde). Both of these factors make me stick out even more than some of my companions who are male or can blend a bit better.
I've struggled with posting something like this, but this last week has been especially tough in these regards and I want the catharsis that comes with writing something negative out. Before starting I want to clearly state that the negativity included in this post is a present part of my daily life but is certainly not the only part of my daily life. For every negative experience there's positive ones to help bolster my spirits. In between sections I'm going to inter disperse pictures of things I've seen that make me happy so you can have a happy break too.
Look at this sheep.
This is something that I really struggle with, especially when you see animals in the city. Animals are not treated nearly as well as they are in the global west (North America, Europe, Japan, Australia, etc.). The first time I saw an elephant out on the streets of Chittagong I was excited - how foreign, how exotic! A man riding the elephants through the streets, it's exactly what you would think of if you closed your eyes and imagined colonial times.
The second and third time I've seen an elephant haven't been nearly so exciting. I think it may be the same elephant, but it's hard to tell. The chains wrapped around its front leg make it pretty clear that at the end of the day this elephant doesn't get to go home to a huge grassy paddock with a little pond and other elephant friends. The man riding the elephant meanwhile wales on it with a stick, directing the elephant in and out of traffic on the chaotic, polluted roads. Imagining what kind of life such an intelligent and emphatic animal leads here in Chittagong is an exercise in depression.
The elephant isn't alone. Tons of feral dogs and cats wander about, often diseased and hungry looking. They're not loved companions, they're pests on the road. You can't eat them, they don't work, they really don't have much point here.
Cows, goats, chickens, ducks and geese are treated relatively better because they have value in their eggs, milk, or consumption. But they're still animals living in crowded, dirty, loud, chaotic conditions. You see old men carrying tiny baskets of songbirds and parrots for sale, packed into the baskets so they can barely move. Chickens and ducks are tied by the feet into groups of four or five while still alive and carried upside-down to be sold or slaughtered.
There's not so much active cruelty towards animals as there is overwhelming apathy. No consideration for the feelings, the needs, the comforts of the animals we share this city with. It's difficult to expect impoverished people to try and account for the comfort of non-human creatures but as someone raised in a western country and a great animal lover, it can be really trying.
These geese are just chilling, like NBD BRO.
2) PovertyThat brings us to the second difficulty. The intense poverty. It's present, it's obvious, and it's everywhere.
Every country has poverty. Certainly the United States does in many urban and rural communities. For the most part though we keep ourselves separate from poverty in the global west. Even living in one of the nicer Chittagong neighborhoods we see people who are painfully thin, children asking for food constantly. One of the hardest moments I had here was about two weeks ago. After stopping in this bakery for a few savory pastries, I got into a rickshaw with a Bangladeshi friend of mine to head back home for the day. As she was climbing in, she dropped her box of pastries onto the street. The box flew open and the pastries were on the dirty, disgusting street. As she bemoaned the loss of her snack, a woman holding a young baby came up and excitedly started talking. As we pulled away I asked what the woman had been saying, and my friend told me that she had asked whether she could eat the dropped pastries.
This mom was thrilled at the prospect of having pastries that fell and broke on the filthy wet street. Presumably, she would be giving some to her young child as well. I'm not embarrassed to say I went home and cried, and even in writing out this here I'm brought to tears again.
Living here not only brings awareness to the privilege of having enough to eat every day, but also just impresses the helplessness of the situation. If I had known, I could have given that mother my pastries too. Or bought her something more substantial from the grocery store. But they would still be hungry tomorrow. The child will grow without proper nutrition. Its siblings will too. Even if you find food for this one family, there's literally thousands, millions more that are just as hungry, just as needy. The cycle of poverty is so overwhelming that it can make facing it quite difficult. Which brings me to my next point...
I stood here for three minutes and couldn't get this cat to look at me. Kitty got attitude.
3) Beggars
Anytime you leave the house, you will be accosted by someone begging. Oftentimes its children, packs of them roam certain busy streets or intersections and they'll crowd you, tugging at your clothes, yelling "madam, madam please" and follow you for blocks. They'll follow you across the street, into traffic, down sidewalks. They'll crowd you as you climb into a rickshaw and continue to ask until you start to pull away.
Even if you take school vans, at stopped intersections people will come up to the windows and tap against the glass. Always begging for money. When it's not children begging, it's mothers with small children, the elderly, or the disabled. They often carry small pans where you can throw bills into. It becomes a real ethical dilemma though... especially with the children. They are reckless, prone to running into traffic after you without looking where they're going. I haven't seen any of them get hit yet, but it wouldn't surprise me if it happens. Giving them money not only encourages reward for recklessness like that, but it also shows them that pestering foreigners long enough will pay dividends. If you walk through a certain area regularly and you give someone money once, they will pester you for it every single day. Worse, other beggars will see that you give and will begin harassing you as well for it.
It becomes a real struggle walking fast away when you're swarmed by children under 8 who are calling after you, begging for money for food. I've had them grab both ends of my scarf, nearly choking me. They'll grab and pull quite hard on my top. They'll grab at my arms or my bag hoping for something. It's exhausting and emotionally draining to yell sharply at them to stop. Literally nothing you can do will make them stop unless a more attractive target appears to take their attention, but unless another group of foreigners appears and starts throwing money around, that seems extremely unlikely.
Look at the size of this tree. That's a full grown man standing next to it. What a cool tree.
4) Catcalling/harassment
This one is just coming from a women's perspective. Surprise surprise, women are not treated well in Bangladesh. Culturally women are just second place in everything. My biggest moment of culture shock happened in the Dhaka airport as I was in line for customs arrival. Guards pulled every single man out of line behind me and brought them forward. Every. Single. Man. Even as a foreign woman I am shifted into lesser treatment. Worse actually because the reputation of western women is not a good one.
We are considered slutty, to put it simply. Western women have sex before marriage and wear scandalously revealing clothes in public around men that are not their husbands. Some women never get married and have kids. We drink, we smoke, we party just like our male counterparts. And it is this perception that follows us regardless of our individual choices or behaviors.
Thus when I walk down the street, I get a constant barrage of "hello madam" "where you from?" "hey what is your mobile number?" "hey sexy" "I want to kiss you" on a daily basis. It's never ending. People asking to take their pictures with/of me. Some of the other fellows will consent but I never do. They're not taking a photo because I have a nice personality or they like my fashion sense. They take a picture because I'm a spectacle, like a two-headed calf or a really cool looking car. I know it's a common phrase to say if you stare too long, take a picture so you can enjoy it longer, but that doesn't seem like an improvement to me. Photos get posted on social media and comments are made that I can't understand or control. Comments about western women are generally not positive, and not something I want my face connected to.
The staring is constant and obvious. People make no pretense of hiding their stares, instead gaping with mouths open from their rickshaw or bus as I pass. Even inside the school vans I get this constant attention. It's extremely uncomfortable. It's the life of a celebrity without any perks. No privacy anywhere. Ever. Always representing and putting your best face forward.
It can be exhausting.
Check out this tiger statue. It guards the Tiger's Pass intersection.
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